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Most people in China have a similar set of basic values in their minds. It comes from their background and society which they grew up in. It may seem complex to an outsider but it is really simple when you understand a little more about China. Society Population Issue: China has the largest population and the longest history of any country in the world. This has created a long standing set of traditional values of family and social background. The new China has been building for about 50 years now and even more rapidly in the last 20 years. But the old family values still affect the Chinese family and social status. China is now moving faster and opening up to the world. As the science technologies progress, more and more mid-age men and women with the “old school” education have lost their job, mainly those in the 40 year old age group. They are forced to retire and some of them with little or no retirement pay. So there are many very important hidden questions for each family in present China states. Chinese government educational assistance: Only about 1% of the schools in China have education that is free from grade school to high school. Most parents must pay for any and all the schooling their child will receive. Also, only a one in each one thousand children has a chance get a scholarship for collage. Why Chinese families have a child? In China, the women worry about a child's basic education. And it seems that the parents in China worry about if the kids will make enough money to help them when they are older. Thus a child is an investment that is like a retirement plan. In the beginning, before the child is born, I feel that all people (both men and women) every where in the world are thinking it would be so nice and great to have a child. But then reality sets in and this is where each culture begins to have slight differences. Mostly in the smaller cities of china, about 80% of the parents have this kind of thinking. In some of the bigger cities, about 50% of married people will think like this. Also, some of the other thinking about children is still very old fashioned. Some middle aged women still think that if they can not have a son, they will lose the respect of the husband’s family and the husband and they still believe it is the woman’s fault if she does not give birth to a son. They do not know that modern science has proven that it is the man that determines what the sex of a child will be, but still not all the middle aged or older women know this. And it is not just the women that think this. The middle aged male in China also still thinks this why. So you can imagine what the parents of these middle aged people still think. In many rural areas, there are still young women that believe this. Just like in the older days in the USA or other western countries, when parents had a farm, they wanted and tried to have many children to help with all the work associated with a farm to make it more profitable. Also to have someone to carry on the family business and they wanted sons to carry on the family name. So is the same thinking in China today amongst the rural people who are farming, and the thinking of carrying on the family name has great importance and social status ramifications. In some areas of China there is great loss of face in a family and society if you do not have a son. A Chinese family’s educational worries: The average educational costs during the elementary through high school years for just 1 child, can cost a family about 25%-35% of a family’s total annual income for each year the child goes to school. That’s with parents both working and getting an average salary in China. If just one child goes to college, it will cost 50%-70% of a family’s total income for each year the child is in college. So you can see that trying to save for a child’s college education is almost impossible. In a few of the bigger cities in China, maybe 1 child’s education will cost only about 15%-20% in the elementary to high school years. So at least families in these bigger cities have a chance to save some money for a child’s college education. But just like in bigger cities here, the cost of living can be a little higher as well. Maybe now you can understand a little better why and how the Chinese people get family values, and understand what the “Order of Priorities” of the family structure is for the average Chinese woman.

1.The children – their health, education and well-being. 2.There is an equal feeling of importance here: a. Her Parents. b. Her Husband. 3.What others think of her family. 4.Taking care of the home.Making sure it is comfortable and clean. 5.Herself 6.here is an equal feeling of importance here: a. Her friends. b. Her husband’s parent. 7.Her peers at work. 8.The pets, if they have any.

When they are first seriously dating someone and maybe thinking of marriage, or first married, they think that having a baby would be wonderful and loving thing to do because of their love for each other. But then after they have a baby, reality sets in, along with the realization of the responsibility. So they naturally do what any good parent would do, they do what is best for the entire family, but now the cultural and economic conditions of each area and country are considered. The culture gap continues. In China, with this responsibility of raising a child, the parents wake up to the reality of the situation and the education of old family values is remembered and used again. Most of their original thoughts, hopes and dreams are changed by the reality of having a child and their personal character, needs and spirit grows less and less important as they getting older. So when a Western man talks with a Chinese woman, in the beginning they might feel very strange or confused as to why so many Chinese women think of themselves like a tool, machine, robot or slave. They don’t know how to enjoy themselves and life and many do not even know what their individual desires are anymore. If they do remember their desires, they tend to bury them deep in their minds, because the most important thing is the children and they must forget about themselves in order to save themselves later in old age. And they certainly can not talk to a man about their personal desires. Unless it is to say they want to have a good, happy family and security for their family (security for their child’s education). The family responsibility is foremost in her mind. She worries if her husband (or future husband) will meet his responsibilities to his family. She will even think of or treat others just like she does herself. She need more guidance from a man about how to discover her personal character and a man with the patience to help her explore herself and know that it is her right to enjoy life. A Chinese married woman, especially a woman that has been divorced, and has a child, seldom cares about what their desires are in a marriage, as long as the marriage can lead on a comfortable life. Her biggest joy is how others look at the family, and she takes great pride in that and is content with just this. Now with China becoming more open to the world and a woman hearing more about life in other countries, more and more Chinese women desire more help from society and love, respect and care from their man. Once they get respect from the man, they return more respect than they get. But the old family values are still embedded deep in their mind. It may take a long time for her to open up and talk about her thinking and true feelings. To fit in completely and understand that a Western man values and loves to share thoughts, desires, wants and needs about all things in life with his woman. The respect that a Chinese woman will give back to the man she loves is what is so very attractive to a western man. You just need the time and patience to know each other more deeply. Chinese women need to understand themselves better and also other countries family and a man’s values. Don’t try to put her self into other’s minds and the Western man should do the same. They have the responsibility and honor to guide the Chinese woman who they would love to marry or live together all their life. As time goes by, the woman will become more open-minded, more charming, better humor and best of all, more passionate in all things to their husband. Chinese women tend to be the most dedicate women to someone or something, more so than women from any other countries.

The average Western man has been exposed to a woman that is always complaining about everything. This is why he is looking to the east for a wife. He has heard that Chinese women are much more “non-complaining” than western women. This is just not true. Everyone, men and women will complain about some things, especially when things are going poorly. However, most Chinese women will only complain when there is good reason to complain. Just because a Chinese woman complains about something, is not reason to believe that she will react like a Western woman. While they may complain, they are fiercely loyal and supportive of her husband. If you continue to do your best and work towards fixing a problem, she will most likely stand beside you. You may have to teach a Chinese woman about our outlook on life. Western men have a belief that life is what you make of it, so you have to deal with it and make the best with what you have. Happiness does not completely come from money and possessions. Happiness comes from your own heart, from what is inside you, your attitude, not from other money. If you want to get love, learn to love yourself first. Communicating with a Chinese woman is most important. This will make her feel apart of your life and they want to know all things about your shared life together, good or bad. So not hide things from them and they will stay with you.

Many Western men say that they want a “open-minded” woman. Many of the Chinese women are thinking that’s meaning open thinking about sex. In fact, this may only be part of your meaning. “Open-minded” means that you both can talk about everything, include wishes, desires, hopes, current life and thinking, and how you thinking about “sex”. What your like, dislike, desire, dream, hate, etc. about anything. What are your hopes for future, what will make you happy in life? What kind of lifestyle you both desire? We want to share every thing with her and know her more. We want to know if we can have fun with a woman after the work day, whether the two of us have common hobbies, interests and goals in life. You need to explain your meaning more clearly than just saying "I want an open-minded woman" when you put it in your profile or first begin talking about this. They have a rule in communication that is always be honest and frank and keep talking. Telling a lie will always bring hurt and disappointment more than tell truth. “Open-sex” is a misunderstanding of Chinese women, thinking that the man means this when he says “open-minded”.

A Western men’s loyalty begins and he starts to commit himself to a woman after he is already beginning to fall in love. A Chinese women’s loyalty begins the day she starts to like (not even in love) a man. Chinese Women don’t think about if a Western man will be loyal to a marriage. It is like a natural assumption that a man will be loyal to her and the family. Both of you two have the choice to find the right person in life. A Western man does not feel guilty for their sex actions before deciding to commit to marriage with a woman, and might even continue their actions until the day that they actually marry someone. But after marriage, most will be very committed to the wife, family and the marriage. The Chinese woman most likely will not have any sex actions with anyone once she is committed to someone, even before marriage. Will she remain loyal? Like with all marriages, that will depend on the both of you and your situation and attitude. In many ways a Chinese woman is not different that any other woman, if she feels that she does not have a good situation or is not wanted or appreciated at home, she could look somewhere else. But if she feels all is ok and well at home, she will be the most loyal of wives you can find.

Most Chinese women are very easy to talk with about sex, but only after she is committed to you. They also like a gentleman, so have some manners and tact. Most will be embarrassed at first, but will begin to be more open an honest with you about more things than you can imagine.

Some of the younger Chinese women would not like consider marrying with an older man. But many of the young girls who have grown up in a divorced family are easily attractive by a mature man who has much TLC. They desire to be in a secure family situation. They have suffered because of their parent’s separation. In China, when a couple divorces, usually the children live with the mother. Most mothers don’t like their children to see their father again after they get divorced. Those mothers think they are protecting their children, but in fact, they did wrong. They kill the feeling of a child for their father without the child’s agreement or understanding. When this woman grows up, they tend to look for mature man who has patience and will love, respect and indulge them. The problems of the parents hurt and bitterness brings this effect to them. They want to find a man with responsibility for family, a mature man (maybe with a little bit of little boy in them), but not a big boy looking for a mother. Another type of young girl is someone that just might want to get out of China. However, this does not mean they will be a poor choice. They are just more open-minded and independent. Since China is open to the world, they know a little about the world. They are curious. They desire know this world outside of China. They desire know all world. Maybe they are looking for a chance to grow or a better life condition. But their courage should admire. They dare to do anything. They are bold, crazy, smart, adventurous and younger. They know how to get what they want and what is to their best advantage. They want to choose what they want and decide where they will go. Everyone wants to have good life and have right to choose their way. They are easy to accept new things, and learn new things very fast, but can also change very fast. Just like a young filly that has too much energy, you have good “rein-in power” so she is not always charging blindly ahead, and you can win her heart and respect and have a good result. This is the big difference between Chinese and Western Cultures. If you try to “rein-in” a Western woman, she will most likely bite or kick you. Also, some of younger girls maybe have experience love with a younger boy before and got a bad result that they did not expect. So then they will want to look for a more mature man in their life. Most Chinese women tend to have a traditional value. But the key to understanding and having a great relationship with a Chinese woman is mutual respect. A Chinese lady, no matter what their age, is more interested in getting respect from a man, but unlike a Western woman, she will give back to you respect even greater than she is getting. And with this respect will there will also be extreme loyalty. That is what I mean by traditional values. So it is all about respect, not age.